Half Drunk Muse Poetry


Pop-Tarts Conspiracy Theory by Stephanie Scarborough

Halt little child before you take a bite!
For your sweet, fruit-filled Pop-Tarts may not be
Your usual toasted breakfast-time delight
But part of Kellogg’s vast conspiracy.
First, note they wrap the Pop-Tarts up in pairs—
Why do they do this? Listen and I’ll tell—
For who eats one then ignorantly dares
To let the other fester and grow stale?
Nobody! You eat both and thus go through
A box in half the time you normally would
Were they packaged one by one instead of two
As Kellogg’s from this day on forward should.
But since they don’t and won’t I’ll help myself
Before this Pop-Tarts festers on the shelf.

View bio for Stephanie Scarborough Published in All Poems 1999-2004

About HDM

Half Drunk Muse was one of the first poetry ezines. It was founded in 1999 and ceased publication in 2006.

Questions/comments? Email samiller@halfdrunkmuse.com.